In this article Liz Robson, relationship expert, gives some tips to start building confidence. Liz has not always been confident herself but it is something she has learnt and developed and is now happy and confident in all areas of her life. Liz is passionate about sharing what she has learnt with other women, and here is a chance to find out more.
1) What is Confidence?
Get a pen and paper and write down what confidence means to you. That is what confidence is.
The word confidence can mean something different to everyone. It is what is known as a nominalization a word that
sounds like it has a specific meaning but in reality it is open to interpretation. In order to build confidence firstly it is important to
identify what it means to you, secondly you will need to identify how you will know when you have it. Answer these questions, be specific.
- How will I know when I am more confident?
- How will I feel?
- What will I say?
- How will I act?
- What will people say to me or what will I hear?
- What will I look like?
If you don’t know where you are headed, how will you know when you get there. In coaching we always work on what building
this level of awareness. Once you have identified your goal you automatically take steps to start achieving it.
2) What have I got to build on?
Confidence is not about starting from scratch and changing everything thing about you. It is about building on what
you already have and showing it to the world, being happy in your own skin.
Try and write at least 5 answers for the following questions. There is no room for modesty, I believe if you don’t
believe in yourself or like yourself then it is hard for others to. If you can write more that 5 brilliant!
- What’s great about you?
- What are you good at?
- What are you proud of?
- What do your friends like about you?
- What physical attributes are you most proud of?
- What makes you loveable?
- What special gifts would you bring to a relationship?
Now read through this list and look it on a regular basis. See yourself how others see you, no one can be as hard on someone as we are on ourselves.
3) Give yourself a compliment, even if it is only in your head, I often think to myself, I look nice to day, I like my outfit, my hair looks nice etc. These small things all add up to building confidence. If someone compliments you, say thank you a compliment is a gift, you would say thank you to a gift. By saying thank you, you are accepting the gift of a complement and registering it.
Practice seeing yourself in a new positive light, another school of thought is to look and behave confident. If you start to act or look more confident on the outside, the inside will soon catch up.
Liz Robson is a specialist relationship coach who has successfully coached hundreds of women to improve
their confidence to deal with all aspects of their lives. Liz regularly features in the media when expert advice
and opinion is required when programmes focus on the complexities of relationships.
You can check out her website at www.glow-coaching.co.uk.